Let’s get real.

It’s one thing to deal with a difficult colleague. It’s a whole different beast when the person causing stress, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion is your leader.

The one who’s supposed to inspire you, develop you, and back you. Instead? They belittle you, control you, ignore your voice, or use their power to push you down instead of lift you up.

At LeadershipHQ, we’ve worked with thousands of professionals across industries—and trust us, you’re not alone. Bullying in leadership is more common than most organisations admit, and it costs more than morale. It impacts mental health, retention, creativity, and culture.

So, what do you do when the bully is in charge?

Here’s your guide to surviving and thriving—even with a toxic leader in your path.

💣 First: What Does Leadership Bullying Look Like?

Workplace leaders who bully often:

• Micromanage and criticise excessively
• Use intimidation, sarcasm, or exclusion
• Take credit for others’ work
• Publicly humiliate or undermine people
• Use their title to manipulate or control
• React emotionally or punitively when challenged
• Withhold opportunities, praise, or information as punishment

They might be polished on the surface, but underneath, it’s all about power, control, and insecurity.

🧠 The Neuroscience of Bullying (and Why It Messes With You)

When you’re bullied—especially by someone in power—your brain shifts into survival mode. The amygdala (your brain’s fear centre) kicks in. Cortisol rises. Your prefrontal cortex (the thinking, problem-solving part) takes a back seat.

You feel stuck, anxious, foggy, and exhausted. This isn’t just in your head. It’s in your nervous system.

That’s why regaining your clarity and confidence takes more than “toughening up.” It takes strategy, boundaries, and support.

🔥 What to Do When the Bully Is Your Boss

1. Protect Your Peace First

Your well-being is not optional. Create micro-boundaries to protect your nervous system:

• Take walking breaks
• Use breathing techniques before/after meetings
• Limit 1:1 exposure when possible
• Journal daily to process emotions

Your brain needs safety to think clearly. Give it that.

2. Document Everything

Keep a detailed log. Include:

• Date/time
• What happened
• Who was there
• The impact (emotionally or professionally)

Keep emails. Save screenshots. Keep a folder. If escalation is needed, this becomes your strongest tool.

3. Stay Professional, Not Passive

You don’t have to shrink to survive. Respond, don’t react. Set calm, clear boundaries.

Say things like:

• “Let’s focus on the facts, not tone.”
• “I’d like to finish what I was saying.”
• “Can we revisit this in writing?”

You teach people how to treat you—even leaders.

4. Find an Ally or Mentor

One great ally changes everything. This could be:

• A trusted senior leader
• A mentor outside your team
• HR (if you feel safe)
• A coach or therapist

Leadership doesn’t mean going it alone. Build your circle.

5. Focus on Your Leadership—Even If They Don’t

Use this as fuel. Ask:

• Who do I want to be as a leader?
• What values do I stand for?
• How can I show up powerfully, even in hard environments?

Often, the worst leaders show us exactly what not to become.

6. Speak Up—Strategically

If the bullying continues:

• Gather evidence
• Prepare for resistance or denial
• Stick to facts, not emotion
• Request a formal meeting with HR or someone more senior

Make it clear: this isn’t about drama—it’s about safety, wellbeing, and performance.

7. Know When to Walk (And That It’s Not Weak)

Sometimes, the healthiest, bravest thing you can do is leave.

Not because you failed. But because you’ve outgrown the toxicity.

You deserve a workplace where you are respected, developed, and valued. Period.

💬 Sonia’s Story: The Bully, the Island, and the Turning Point

I once worked in HR on a literal island. Dreamy job. Beautiful location. Then came the new Director of HR—my boss.

Within days, he was belittling me, excluding me, and undermining my work. And I had nowhere to go—I lived and worked there. It was suffocating. Isolating. Infuriating.

But I didn’t let it break me.

I documented. I stayed calm. I led with integrity. And he lasted two months. Two. Glorious. Months.

That experience didn’t destroy me—it forged me. It made me the leadership powerhouse and crusader I am today. It birthed LeadershipHQ.

I turned that pain into purpose. And you can too.

💡 Final Reminders

🛑 Bullying is not leadership.

🛑 Respect isn’t optional.

🛑 You are nottoo sensitive.

🛑 You are not the problem.

You are strong. You are valuable. You are a leader—whether they see it or not.

And let’s be real…

If your leader is toxic and refuses to change?

If you’ve set boundaries, spoken up, and nothing shifts?

👉 Tell them (mentally or verbally) to f*ck right off. Because life is way too short to tolerate crap leadership.

You weren’t born to play small, stay silent, or shrink for someone else’s comfort. You were born to lead, rise, and set the damn standard.

So:

💥 Set the boundary.

💥 Speak the truth.

💥 Walk away if you must.

Your peace > their power. Your future > their ego.

💬 Ready to Rise?

At LeadershipHQ, we don’t sugarcoat leadership—we redefine it. We help courageous professionals like you reclaim their voice, confidence, and career after toxic leadership has tried to break them.

📩 Visit leadershiphq.com.au and let’s rewrite what leadership looks like—starting with you.

Because guess what?

You don’t need their permission to be powerful.