Over the past 30 years in the leadership space, I’ve seen it all. Incredible leaders are doing extraordinary things. Teams united by purpose, values, and trust. Cultures where people thrive, speak up, and feel seen.

But I’ve also seen the other side — the part that still breaks my heart.

The downs come when I walk out of a company or a coaching session and feel it — that heavy energy. The kind of space where fear lingers in the silence, where people have stopped hoping for change. And sometimes, after those days, I get in my car and cry. Not because of what was said, but because of what was tolerated. Because I can see the pain in the eyes of the people who work there. The resignation. The quiet quitting of the soul.

Toxic culture doesn’t always scream. Sometimes, it just whispers: “You don’t matter here.”

And that’s why I’m writing this — because it’s time to face a truth many leaders avoid.

The root of a toxic culture isn’t bad people. It’s tolerated behaviour.

Culture Isn’t What You Say — It’s What You Allow

Every workplace has values pinned to the wall. They say the right things: Respect. Trust. Integrity. Courage.

But what happens when someone behaves in a way that contradicts those values — and nothing happens?

What happens when the high performer undermines a colleague in a meeting, and everyone looks away? When micromanagement crushes confidence, but the manager keeps getting promoted? When bullying hides behind humour, and people are told to “lighten up”?

That silence? That’s permission.

And what’s tolerated starts to feel normal. Until one day, the culture becomes toxic — not because of what was said, but because of what was never addressed.

What Leaders Tolerate, They Teach

I’ve worked with thousands of leaders, and here’s the brutal truth: Your culture is not what you preach. It’s what you permit.

It’s how you respond when someone crosses a line. It’s who you protect, even when they’re hurting others. It’s the excuses you make to avoid discomfort.

Toxic cultures are created not just by toxic individuals — but by the leaders who choose to look the other way.

And I get it. Leadership is hard. It’s confronting. It’s uncomfortable. But growth only happens when you face the discomfort head-on.

The Hidden Cost of Silence

In every toxic culture, there are brilliant people playing small. Talented humans who’ve lost their spark. Teams walking on eggshells. Innovation shut down. Wellbeing sacrificed.

Why? Because someone didn’t feel safe. Because someone tried to speak up and got shut down. Because feedback wasn’t welcome — only compliance was.

And then we wonder why people are disengaged, why top talent walks away, or why burnout is rampant.

Toxicity doesn’t always start with cruelty. Sometimes, it starts with cowardice.

The Cure? Psychological Safety

If toxicity is the illness, psychological safety is the cure.

This isn’t fluff. It’s neuroscience. When people feel safe to contribute without fear of ridicule, rejection, or punishment, the brain opens up. Trust builds. Collaboration grows. Teams perform at higher levels.

Psychological safety is the foundation of any thriving culture — and it’s built by leaders who are:

• Clear, not nice. (Kindness is clarity.)
• Accountable, not avoidant. (Address the issue, even if it’s uncomfortable.)
• Human, not perfect. (Share your lessons, your mess, your growth.)
• Consistent, not reactive. (Values are lived, not launched.)

It’s Not the Culture. It’s the Leadership.

If your team is shutting down, if morale is low, if people are disengaged — it’s time to look inward.

Because culture is a reflection of leadership. And leadership is how you show up when it’s hard, not just when it’s easy.

So ask yourself:

• What behaviours am I tolerating?
• Where am I avoiding hard conversations?
• Who is being protected at the cost of others?
• Am I modelling what I expect from others?

This Is Your Leadership Wake-Up Call

We can’t afford to pretend anymore. Toxic cultures cost money, people, well-being, and ultimately, trust.

But the good news? You can change it. You can be the leader who says: “Not here. Not anymore.”

Because when you stop tolerating toxicity, you start building something powerful — A workplace where people feel safe, valued, and brave enough to lead.

Let’s be those leaders.

Need support shifting your culture? At LeadershipHQ, we work with organisations ready to lead with courage, clarity, and impact. From strategy to team development, we’ve got the tools to help you build the culture you deserve.

👉 Visit leadershiphq.com.au or connect with our team to start the conversation.