7 Ways to Work With That Manager

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7 Ways to Work With That Manager

The One Who Teaches You What Not to Do

Not every leader you work with will inspire you. Some will challenge you. Some will stretch you. And some will unintentionally become your greatest leadership lesson… by showing you exactly how not to lead.

While difficult managers can test your patience, confidence, and motivation, they can also become powerful teachers if you choose to approach the experience intentionally. Leadership growth is not only shaped by great role models. It is also forged in contrast.

Here are seven ways to work with a manager who teaches you what not to do, without losing your confidence, professionalism, or purpose.

1. Reframe the Experience as Leadership Training

Instead of asking “Why do I have to deal with this?” ask: “What is this experience teaching me about leadership?”

Every frustrating interaction becomes data. You are gathering real-world evidence of the behaviours that erode trust, disengage teams, or create confusion. That insight is invaluable when shaping your own leadership style.

Insight: Some of the strongest leaders consciously build their values from what they witnessed done poorly.

2. Separate the Person From the Lesson

You don’t have to admire someone to learn from them.

Observe behaviours objectively:

What triggers tension?
What shuts people down?
What creates confusion?
What lowers morale?

Detach emotionally and watch analytically. You’re not judging, you’re studying.

This shift moves you from frustration to curiosity, which is a far more empowering place to operate.

3. Strengthen Your Own Leadership Identity

Difficult leaders clarify your values faster than easy ones.

Ask yourself:

What kind of leader do I refuse to become?
What standards matter most to me?
How do I want people to feel after interacting with me?

Contrast builds clarity. And clarity builds character.

4. Lead Where You Are (Even Without the Title)

Leadership is not a role. It’s behaviour.

You can model the leadership you wish you experienced:

Communicate clearly
Support colleagues
Take ownership
Stay calm under pressure
Give credit generously

When you do this consistently, people notice. Influence grows. Reputation builds. And you begin leading regardless of hierarchy.

5. Protect Your Energy and Professionalism

Working with a challenging manager can be draining if you absorb everything emotionally.

Protect your energy by:

Setting boundaries
Staying solution-focused
Documenting key decisions
Avoiding gossip loops
Choosing professionalism over reaction

Your composure is your credibility.

6. Build Allies, Not Echo Chambers

Find trusted colleagues, mentors, or networks where you can reflect constructively — not just vent.

Healthy support systems help you:

Process situations
Gain perspective
Develop strategy
Grow resilience

Surround yourself with people who strengthen your thinking, not just validate your frustration.

7. Turn the Lesson Into Legacy

One day, you will lead others.

When that day comes, you will remember:

How it felt not to be heard
How it felt to be dismissed
How it felt to be unsupported

Use those memories as a compass.

Let them guide you to lead with clarity, empathy, courage, and integrity — the very qualities you once needed.

Final Thought

Great leaders are not only shaped by great leaders. They are shaped by contrast, challenge, and choice.

The manager who teaches you what not to do may never realise the impact they had on your leadership journey. But if you choose growth over resentment, they will have given you something powerful:

A blueprint for the leader you are committed to becoming.